Politically Incorrect

Dear Mary
My husband’s cousin has been telling people on Facebook that he plans to vote for someone I think to be the actual Anti-Christ, do we need to have him at Christmas?
Signed, Politically-correct Philip

Dear Philip

Well, since we’re crafty here at Festive Treason, we have worked out that this is an International Question.

Let me take you through my deductive process;
1. We’ve had our shitty election this year and probably won’t get another crack at it for two and a half years
2. Philip is a boy’s name and you mention your husband. Couldn’t happen here in Australia because we are run by a very small group of religious zealots who can apparently deny to us what 85% of the country wants. Isn’t that great?

So there we go. You currently live in a country where you have some rights that we don’t. This will change very quickly if your democratic system throws up a clown on November 8.
I can’t help you with that, but I can offer some comfort around Christmas.

If the worst happens in November, the deplorables will still be so drunk in late December that they will quite likely forget Christmas is on. They’ll be so busy ironing their white cloaks and hoods, burning tyres and visiting hospital Emergency Rooms from injuries sustained in celebratory firing of automatic weapons into the sky that they’re unlikely to surface until February.

It’s next Christmas you’ll really have to worry about – but by then, we could be in the midst of a nuclear winter and finally those Doomsday Preppers will get that last laugh they’ve been planning for all these years.


PS If you’re thinking you might need to hedge your bets a bit though, THIS LINK will show you how to make a Christmas wreath out of shotgun shells because nothing says “welcome” like hanging ammunition on your front door.

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